Dear John

Can I just say that the most annoying thing in the world is a girl waiting for her missionary. Seriously, just thinking about it made me run several stories through my head of relationships/missionaries gone bad. Well, this is my two bits for anyone that cares.

1) BOYS should never ask a girl to wait for them when they go on their mission for so many reasons all of which relate indirectly or directly to the fact that missionaries really don't need anything else to occupy their thoughts. According to me, a good missionary barely has enough time to think about himself, let alone a girl he left back home. Missionaries are constantly thinking of ways to contact more people, be closer to the spirit, create long lasting relationships with members, and not get killed whilst tracting the streets. How would they have sufficient amount of time, and emotional stamina to worry about what their girl is doing back home? or if she'll wait?

2) Girls should not wait for their boy to get back off his mission (so many things go wrong here). First, the boy will change! So much so, that he will most likely not marry you when he gets back. I know this may come as a shocker. You are probably used to your friends telling you that you guys are just, "so perfect for each other" or "so in love" or whatever the crap your high school minds think... so just stop it right now. Second, and this irritates me, you are missing out on two wonderful years of dating..especially if you are at BYU. Girls, you are in your prime. NO for heaven's sake, do not think I am saying you should get married when you are 19 or 20 :) I am saying, who are you to limit the Lord in possible future spouses?

 

3) HOW to treat a boy on a mission. WRITE THEM! For heaven's sakes, don't stop writing them, or think that missionaries don't want to hear from you. Girls are often asking me what they should send their missionary. Sure, there are a few staple American junk-food-delicacies that are great to send. But letters are are the best, especially with pictures. And if you really like the boy and you secretly will be waiting for him, this is what you do: Write him, NO GUSHY CRAP, talk about your scripture studies, ask him how his investigators are coming, or what the best part of his week was. Tell him how life is. Fun things you did, or inside jokes. DON'T whatever you do, spray that letter. You'll only make your missionaries companion gag when he smothers the letter all over his pillow.

I hope this is helpful. Honestly I just wrote it so I could get it off my chest. Believe me, the majority of RMs would agree with me. Especially the ones that got Dear Johned. I'm gonna throw an unjustifiable statistic out there and say that out of the people I know, 12% got married to a girl they were writing on their mission (and that might not be the girl that they started with when they left on their mission).

{Sir Charles}